yellowxnessie

Its just about christmas and all through the house, not a creature is stirring, not even my mouse.

so, im very excited for the gianormo christmas eve party my family is throwing, however much my mother seems to believe i ruin christmas.

its gotten to the point where i just ignore her half the time.

u know how your parents will say, ull drive me to drink,

well i actualy have.

my mother, before a completely sober individual who only partook of the occasional glass of wine, has now taken to swallowing a shot of rum upon seeing me in different areas of the house.

now that my friends is a heck of a lot of rum.

its an ohwell i guess.

yet despite these forboding thoughts, the ideals of this cheery time do exactly that, cheer me.


i love the lights that are flickering in everyones windows.

and i feel at home listening to the music of carols.

i guess its simply a question of whether or not ill survive to c tomorrow or the day after that,

as luck would have it i seem to be testing the patience of the allmighty, not to mention my mother.

my father ignores me as i do him.
yet i know that they still bought me just as many presents as every sibling i have.

i no they love me. they just dont like me.

ill deal.

hopefully she will stop drinking tho... im tired of having to pick up after her drunken ass.that and watching the baby, who has a cold.....

oh, and today i recieved sum interesting news. Chad, my ex's best friend, loves me... idk what to do about that but i do know the feeling is not mutual... hes like my brother and what not.

that and mike, previously mentioned from the years entries before, is incredibly daft and simply wants me to use me.

great. i love feeling all warm and used inside.

ope, despite my heroine usage and such, i am still a virgin, thought i ought tell those who are reading that.

so i gues there is hope for me yet.... however idk how long thats going to last cuz, dude im getting on. 17 is freakishly old to still have a cherry, and i gots many a fool who wants to pop it....

plus im the only one i know who hasnt done the dirty.... but i guess we will c.

i would like to think im holding out for love and whatnot, but the reality was that i simply did not want or need to get pregnant, and my retard ex never had a condom. :P

i guess thats logical, and part of the phallacy we call life.

ne who, happy holidays. :)

Once I move into an apartment next year, I am definitely going on a baking high. If there's anything I learned from watching Julie & Julia it's that just the mere act of looking at food makes you hungry. I just found a recipe for a cappuccino fudge cheesecake and I can already feel a food coma coming on. Where's my apron?

 
Sauce